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By Evan Mercer in park, jokes — 02 Jul 2026

None of them would admit to being a photo of Derek.

Man stands proudly beside a park bench covered with framed portraits of himself in different sizes.
Man stands proudly beside a park bench covered with framed portraits of himself in different sizes.

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The office has begun preparing for gentler emergencies.

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"Having reached the end of his larval stage and now enclosed in the safety of the cocoon, this management hopeful’s old form will begin to dissolve and rearrange. If all goes well, he will emerge soon: damp, blinking, and asking for the Q2 numbers."

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