mockumentary
Best imagined as a documentary narrated by the legendary David Attenborough.
"At the height of breeding season, mature office towers release vast clouds of paper gametes into the prevailing winds."
"Their chairs had abandoned them to become a giraffe, but nature abhors a vacant workstation."
"Despite its precarious construction, the adult office giraffe can remain in one place for several days. Its only natural predator is Facilities, which recognizes neither camouflage nor artistic intent—only twelve missing chairs."
"Here the North American plaza bird incubates its egg, relying on camouflage, stillness, and everyone’s unwillingness to get involved."
"Each year, the mannequins begin the long crawl back to the spawning grounds while shoppers carefully pretend not to notice."
"Having reached the end of his larval stage and now enclosed in the safety of the cocoon, this management hopeful’s old form will begin to dissolve and rearrange. If all goes well, he will emerge soon: damp, blinking, and asking for the Q2 numbers."
"They all longed for it, but today only one would find its forever bathroom."
"Here we observe the urban birdwatcher: patient, cautious, and unwilling to jump to conclusions. After sustained observation of the nearby gull, this eager novice had narrowed it down to 'probably bird.'"
"The office plant leaned toward the new intern with the quiet hunger of middle management."
"The restless adolescent returns to the herd, chastened by the discovery that freedom, in the end, is mostly parking lots."
